THE STOCKHOLM SYNDROME

The Stockholm syndrome is a psychological phenomenon described in 1973, in which hostages express sympathy and have positive feelings towards their captors, sometimes to the point of defending and identifying with the captors (Wikipedia, 2016). These feelings are generally considered IRRATIONAL in light of the risk and danger endured by the victims who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from the captor for an act of kindness or love.

It can also be seen as a form of Traumatic bonding which does not necessarily require a hostage scenario but which describes strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently HARASSES, BEATS, THREATENS, RAPES, ABUSES OR INTIMIDATES the other. Please take not of the words in uppercase - HARASSES, BEATS, THREATENS, RAPES, ABUSES AND/OR INTIMIDATES.

This Stockholm syndrome has eaten deep into the lives and daily activities of many Nigerians and Africans at large. It is a bisexual thing. Let me list briefly some cases of Stockholm in our society.

1. A woman/man staying loyal in an abusive marriage/relationship. This often occurs when a man/woman is having false sense of dependency on their partners and stay with them despite the abuses, rape, assaults form their souse, often because of the kids, family influence, one being the bread winner, religion, etc
2. A woman/man sleeping with or accepting to be sexually abused regularly by their boss or partner for a job offer, keeping their job or a favour. There have been cases of married bosses sleeping with their single subordinate and never allows them explore their emotional life, date or get married. A woman accepting to give sexual/emotional favours for marks, accommodation, university admission.
3. A woman/man giving in to harmful and unsafe sex despite knowing the outcome of their actions. These include cases of a man/woman having unprotected sex with their HIV positive victims and can’t leave the relationship because of love nor use condoms. A big cocked man always tearing apart the vulva of a lady with blood stains and she keeps going back after treating the previous injuries. A man proceeding with marriage after knowing and confirming that he and his partner are not biologically compactible because of love, etc
4. Abused Children. Remember the Ese Oruru and Yinusa’s case. When Ese was delivered from captive, she said “she was comfortable, happy and was enjoying her new home”, she has already fallen in love with her abductors despite the consistent rape and forced Islamic conversion. Unfortunately, her illiterate parents resorted to take her to Prophet T. B. Joshua rather than a Psychologist. What a funny Country.
5. A Lady at 35 waiting for a man for over 10 years and still counting. It is funny but it happens everyday. For me, once a lady is single, she owes not her body, time, resources or explanations to any man whatsoever. Furthermore, It has been proven that these ladies have developed a psychological problem and they will never know, unless we tell them.
6. Being a servant or maid in this 21^st century, from childhood to Old age. This is rampant as people take their poor relative kids from the village to town and these kids serve them till the latter end of their youths. They deceive their parents that they are training or helping their wards and never allow them to be educated or learn a trade.
7. Cult members – secret cults, Campus cults, village cults, etc. People being loyal to cult authorities even after sacrificing their loved once, education, body parts to them.
8. Incest victims.

The only remedy for the Stockholm syndrome is Psychological therapy with consistent love from families. We should try to pull them out of those ugly relationships, try telling them they can survive on their own and progress in their careers without the potbellied man, make them know how beautiful they are. Many of them have lost their self-esteem, they need help to build it back. Yes, there is nothing God cannot do, but entering into a marriage to produce kids that will come and suffer is definitely against God’s plan for our lives. If a woman/man is abused in a relationship they shouldn’t wait a second before leaving, in the case of married Couples, if the man cannot turn a new leaf, legal separation or divorce is the only solution, at least it is better than loosing your life. We should also not hesitate to report to the authorities when any case of child abuse, spouse abuse is noticed around us.

DO THIS AND SAVE A LIFE AND FUTURE TODAY.